Surrender & A Life of Abandonment.

I am tagging this post onto the last; ALL last week the Lord was teaching me what it was to surrender. Last Wednesday, I went to a women's group for the first time & God made His point clear when the leaders introduced the topic: SURRENDER. These wise women went on to say that surrendering is an act of worship; it hit me. . .it's more than just giving up something, it goes so much deeper than that, it is a way for us to worship our Father. We read Daniel 10 that night & if you haven't read it, DO IT NOW! Fantastic scripture & it impacted me greatly; it is a story of a vision Daniel has & he falls into a deep sleep with his face on the ground (even his posture was in physical surrender) & the man in his vision says:

"'Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding & to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, & I have come in response to them.'" -Daniel 10:12

It inspired me to be in complete surrender to my Lord, in worship & humbleness. The very next day I spent most of my day with my cousin Jon & we were sitting at my kitchen table when I decided I wanted to read my devotional out loud with him. . .guess what? The devotional was all about surrendering & living in total abandonment. I read:

• "Are you prepared to surrender totally & let go? The true test of abandonment or surrender is in refusing to say, 'Well, what about this?' . . .The moment you allow yourself to think, 'What about this?' you show that you have not surrendered & that you do not really trust God." -Oswald Chamber (My Utmost for His Highest)

It was like the Lord sucker-punched me in the face because when He spoke into my heart to do something earlier that week (what I talked about in the earlier post), I immediately asked God, "Well, what about YWAM? What about my goals?" That was the complete opposite of being surrendered over to my King. Last week was definitely a week of learning & being refined. . .every day is an opportunity for that, but it was just especially evident last week (if that makes any sense). Let's just say after that beautiful awakening, I have buried those questions.

my cousin Jon & I in Old Town
on a beautiful sunny day!

I do have a lot of beautiful things to share with my readers, I hope ya don't mind that I do. Last week I read my devotional & it quoted Matthew 6:8 ("'. . .for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.'") & that night I was with some family & old friends, sharing my faith walk with Jesus this semester & our old friend asked to meet me at King Soopers; he ended up blessing me with groceries. I wanted to cry, but all I could do was smile & giggle with the joy of the Lord burning in my heart & soul. While walking around the store with my family & friend, my uncle looked at me & said, "'He knows all our needs before we ask Him.'" My uncle had no idea I had read that verse that very same morning! Can you believe it? Wow, the Lord is faithful to His promises & His Word is LIFE. Praise God for my old family friend & for his obedience to the Lord; thank you from the bottom of my soul!

Me, Mariah, Kelsi, Kimmi, & Leslie;
Costa Rica retreat in Estes Park

Tomeka & I in Estes Park

Another thing that happened was I met with a friend, that I had the wonderful opportunity of meeting while on my way to the Passion Conference, & he purchased a photo from me to help send me to Costa Rica! I thank you with everything I have; you have no idea how much that blessed me & I thank God for your impact in my life everyday! Also, I went on a retreat to Estes Park with my Costa Rica team & we had a blast learning more about each other by sharing our testimonies, playing games, eating together, laughing, & talking. I also watched the sunrise on the morning of May 1; absolutely beautiful & God takes my breath away each & every time I view it, plus the friends I get to enjoy it with are even more beautiful! I even went on a random road trip with my best friend Kendra to see her family & my cousin Jon & our friend Isaac. SO FUN! :) The Lord has been so gracious to me this past week & is faithful BEYOND measure; I can't fathom His love & faithfulness. 

Kendra & I the night of our road trip!

May 1; isn't He so beautiful?

Kendra, Brent, Marty, & I; sunrise!

 UPDATE: I was blessed with a total of $350 for Costa Rica last week so now I am at $1,100 left! I am so thrilled & I owe my life to those who blessed me with such generous spirits & I am so grateful to God for their presence in my life. I wish I had a heart like theirs. This weekend I am headed home to see my family for the first time in months, celebrate Mother's Day, & play the piano/speak at a church for Costa Rica! :) THANK YOU for all you are to me & do for me. I don't deserve you. I hope you enjoy some photos from my week/weekend! 

Me, Lorie & Evie, Leslie, Rachel, Kendra, Danielle, & Cortney;
some of us OutPost gals celebrating Leslie's birthday!

". . .once you do get to the point of total surrender to Him, you will be the most surprised & delighted person on earth. God will have you absolutely, without any limitations, & He will have given you your life." -Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest)